Ages ago there was a TV show called MASH, its theme song was called Suicide Is Painless.  Recently my family felt the effects of suicide and I can say it’s not painless for those left in its wake.  We are only two days out and still there will be effects for days, weeks and even years ahead.  I do not just mean the emotional fall out.  The most minute things like how a bill gets paid or how to change over utilities, contacting their bank and so on each conversation is a reminder, it dredges back up the day, the memories of a life lost, it reopens the wound and gives it yet another chance to fester.  When someone passes from natural causes it is hard enough, but when it was a decision it is more difficult to process.  Personally, I just state the person lost their lifelong battle with depression and that is true, but the truth is so much more.  Not just the mental illness but the physical pain of maladies the individual faced (which are now relieved) but also the loss of the this persons spirit who did lift up many others.  Even though I did not particularly like this person, due to the way they behaved, likely from the previously mentioned conditions, they did make a family member of mine happy which is worth more to me than anything else.  That person though is no more, what is left is memories and the wake of what could have been.  The happy events that give comfort to those who grow older will never occur, there is only loss, confusion, anger and of course plenty of regret.